TOFU WRAPPED BACON...BE THE BRAND

“Clean Comedian for corporate, government, or personal events. Contact me for rates and availability.” That’s what the post said on the professional speakers and entertainers group that I am a part of on Linkedin. I was intrigued, not because I am looking for a corporate comic, but because I wanted to see the face of the person who would break etiquette and blatantly advertise 

bacon wrapped tofu

on Linkedin. I googled the name and found a youtube clip of a comedy show that he did a couple of years ago. “Clean Comedian” is how this person branded himself and 28 seconds into his act, he dropped the F Bomb. THE F BOMB! Now don’t get me wrong, I am not easily offended by profanity as long as it’s not around my kids, but I AM offended by a misleading branding statement. If you say your book is a best seller, you'd better not mean within your mother’s bible study. If you say you are the toughest man in the world, there had better be a line of broken and battered bodies littering your wake, and if you say you are a clean comedian then you’d better not drop the F bomb. If I were to have a conversation with this gentleman and express my opinion he would probably tell me that he modifies his language based on the event, or he may just tell me to ‘F’ OFF. I would then tell him “you can’t call yourself a vegeterian and have your tofu wrapped in bacon”. Unlike in years past, we no longer have control over our brand. Major companies such as Nike, Apple, and McDonalds spend millions of dollars on creating a branding statement which is nothing more than four or five words that come to mind when you hear a product name. Nike=swoosh, sports, running, football. Apple= Mac, sleek, fast, elite. McDonalds = easy, tasty, kids, cheap. For years, corporations were able to control their brand with advertisments and commercials. This is no longer the case. Thanks to social media and youtube, the control of our brand has transferred to the consumer. If I receive bad customer service, I tell my online community. If I do it in a funny or interesting way then it will ripple into their communities. Videos of me speaking and performing are all over Youtube and Vimeo. Some were put up by me and some by others. Because the internet provides immediate access into our brand, there is a transparency between us and the customer that has never before existed.  The best way for us to promote and protect our brand is to simply…BE THE BRAND. 

ARE YOU TWEET WORTHY?

Sitting in the office of the A&R director of Curb Records many years ago, I thought "this is it". This was the magic moment I had been waiting for. The tipping point that I had worked for since I first picked up a guitar, strung three chords together, and sang my own homegrown lyrics. With eyes closed, I played what was sure to be Tim McGraw's next chart topper. I hit every note, added the appropriate amount of emotion and Pathos, mixed texture with melody and envisioned the excitement building two feet away in the expensive smelling leather chair. I opened my eyes expecting to see a face full of jubilation and exuberance, but was instead confronted with crossed arms and an expression devoid of emotion. I was stunned. How could this person not see the songwriting brilliance that my mother and her bible study were so quick to acknowledge? I was instead told something that changed my thinking for life. "Patrick, your song is good. However, hundreds of good songs come through my door every week. A hit song has a quality that will make the listener get up off his butt, drive to the record store and pay fifteen dollars just so he can hear it again. Your song doesn't have that" 

Even though the relevance of mainstream record stores has disappeared, the relevance of that statement has not. I call it being tweet-worthy. My concept of tweet-worthiness developed not long ago after a speech in Charlotte, North Carolina. I was speaking on the topic of customer loyalty and had just tried out a new bit of material that I had written specifically for this audience. It was a five-minute poem that illustrated the creation of a peak customer experience. I was a little nervous because I was out of my comfort zone, but after much rehearsal and memorization, it came off better than expected. After my speech, a woman excitedly approached me asking "what is your twitter address?" "Why?" I asked? She told me that she enjoyed the poem so much that she was tweeting during my speech and wanted to let people know how to reach me...WOW! an AHA moment if there ever was one.

I now create presentations with tweet-worthy moments in mind. As I am preparing a talk, I visualize impact moments throughout the speech that will make audience members reach for their smart phones and tweet to their followers about what they just heard. Are you tweet-worthy? Are you engaging your customers, clients, and co-workers in a way that will make them stop what they are doing, pick up their smart phones, and share with the world how wonderful you are? Who will testify on your behalf?...Your customers will.  Jeffrey Gitomer says "when you say it about yourself it's bragging. When someone else says it, it's proof".

Three ways to create tweet-worthy moments:

1. DO THE UNEXPECTED. Observe what the competition is doing and do something different. Delivering gourmet cupcakes to the office staff is nice, but hardly original (unless you have their names written on them in frosting) 

2. PROVIDE VALUE. Do you spend every moment in front of the decision maker detailing your product? Look for opportunities to help their business succeed by sending articles, blogs, and resource links that help them achieve their goals. When you become a person of value to the customer, you create a buying atmosphere.

3. BE SINCERE. If you become known as slick...you are finished. If you treat your customers the way you treat your friends, you will soon be tweeted to prosperity. Just don't get your tweet caught in your twitter.

Death of a Lawnman

My lawn man died.  It took me by surprise when my mother-in-law showed me the obituary a few months ago, but there it was in black and white… Dennis was gone. Dennis was a real nice man and although I didn’t know him very well, we did have a couple of meaningful conversations leaning against the fence that separates my property from Mrs. Smith’s.

I grew up cutting grass. As a boy in Auburn, Alabama, I mowed almost every yard in my neighborhood, and as I painstakingly manicured the lawns of the Bent Creek subdivision, I used to fantasize about one day having a lawn man to do it for me.  I did – and now he was gone.  I will miss him, but now I faced a dilemma. Dennis charged the same rate for twenty-five years. Even when gas spiked at over three dollars a gallon, Dennis held firm. His rate was far below what the big landscaping companies in our area charge -- and there was no way I was going to pay that -- so I decided to man up and get back into the business of mowing lawns.  My lawn.

After a testosterone-filled trip to Lowe’s Home Improvement Store (full of grunting, pointing, and kicking the tires of the zero-turn-radius lawn mowers), I arrived home with a new mower (not a zero turn radius), a weed eater, and a high-powered blower. I was locked, cocked, and ready to rock.

For three months now I have been mowing my own lawn and have discovered a few truths that I feel are worth sharing. First of all, I love mowing my yard. I feel a sense of pride and satisfaction when I am finished that I never did as a kid. This came as quite a surprise to me, because for years the smell of fresh cut grass reminded me of hours of hard labor in the unforgiving Alabama sun. Secondly, I discovered that I do a better job than Dennis did. Don’t misunderstand me, I am not disparaging Dennis in any way, but I wasn’t paying him enough to pick up sticks, trim shrubs, and edge the driveway.  He came once a week, mowed and left. Finally, I now know every inch of my property. This sounds a bit silly, especially since I have lived in my house for four years, but when you are responsible for managing your own yard, you become familiar with every nook, cranny, root, rut, and problem area.

So why now? Why do I now feel differently about doing something I despised as a kid? One word:  OWNERSHIP. I own my property, therefore I take pride in its appearance. I own my property, therefore I take responsibility for its functionality and purpose. If I don’t manage a routine maintenance schedule, the blame for the appearance of my yard lays with me.  Why? Because I own it.

 Why would it be any different in your business? The most successful salespeople are the ones who take ownership.  You may not sign your own paycheck, but when you take ownership of your customers, clients, product lines, and territories, you begin to control your outcome.

Here are three ways to OWN THE SALE:

GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY. I once spoke for a restaurant chain that required all of the management trainees sweep the parking lot for a week. I was told that at the end of the week the trainees will be able to fully understand and appreciate the job they are asking a restaurant employee to do -- as well as know EXACTLY how long it should take to complete the task.

INTIMATELY KNOW YOUR YARD (PRODUCT).  My friend Jimmy Prophet sells industrial batteries. He not only knows his product, he knows so much about the equipment that utilizes his product that company engineers call him in to solve problems they can’t. Do you think his competition can intimidate him by undercutting his price? NO WAY. He is a valuable resource.

MAINTAIN YOUR MOWER.   It is amazing how much easier it is to cut my grass when I have the blade sharpened regularly. Is your company too cheap to buy you a new laptop? Buy your own. Boss too stingy to reimburse for client meals? If it closes the deal, pay for it yourself. You are the owner.  It’s time to stop complaining and cut the grass. 

Patrick Henry is a songwriter, author, and professional speaker, who shows clients how to create distinction in the market place and blow away the competition with the four keys to becoming a “ROCKSTAR IN A ROOM FULL OF KARAOKE SINGERS”. Patrick’s entertaining programs show audiences what happens when Keynotes, Comedy, and Concerts Collide. For more information go to www.PatrickHenrySpeaker.com

My first real hatemail.....YES !!!!

I’ve heard it said that you’re not a real writer until you receive your first hate mail. I guess I am now officially a real writer.

I wrote an article a few weeks ago about a bad customer service experience that I had in a Hallmark store with my four-year-old son who was denied use of the restroom.  I relayed the incident as it happened, added the appropriate amount of drama and suspense, threw in a touch of pathos, and then ended with a moral. Are those not the mechanics of first rate article?... apparently not. I received an email from a guy whom I will call Richard. Richard was thoroughly offended that I had the audacity to name the store where the confrontation occurred. Furthermore, he wrote “people like you make me sick. What makes people with kids think the world is their restroom?” He went on to tell me that I only wrote that article because I was “scraping the bottom of the barrel for material for the ezine” . He continued to say that he had over “200 books on sales and he would never own one of mine.”  Wow…who knew an article on customer service could inspire so much ire. Now that his letter has marinated for a couple of weeks, I feel that I am doing Richard and my tens of loyal readers all over the country a huge disservice if I don’t respond.  Here goes….Richard, I take issue with you on three levels. First and foremost, I am insulted that you would criticize me with cliché. I have been criticized by the best. They used metaphor, originality, alliteration, and multi-syllable words that cut deep into my self-esteem and ego. I expect nothing less from you sir. Secondly, I am most insulted that you think I am short on material. As long as there are people like you in the world, my cup of material runneth over. Finally Richard, after reading that you have over 200 books on sales, I shared your letter with many of my friends and colleagues who are also in sales and we initially had the same reaction, WOW… 200 books….you must really suck !!! I then decided that I was being unfair. No one should be criticized for growing their resource library. My criticism lay with the fact that you just don’t get it. Effective selling is predicated on a simple premise. We read about it in Jeffrey Gitomer’s books and it is surely written in the pages of the 200 books adorning your shelves. “People want to do business with people they like and trust”. Does a business owner have the right to enforce policy? Of course. Are policies important? Yes. Good policy guides actions as well as reduces liability (as I was politely educated by another reader responding to the article). Sometimes a choice must be made. Do I enforce policy, or make a sale? There is not a right or wrong answer here, only cause and effect. Richard, sales are not made on our terms, they are made on the customers. Remember what Jeffrey Gitomer says “people don’t like to be sold, but they love to buy”. When you try to force someone to act according to your terms you are either in the Army, or at home alone reading sales books.

Patrick Henry is a songwriter, author, and speaker who teaches clients how to create distinction in the marketplace and blow away the competition with the four keys to becoming a “ROCKSTAR IN A ROOM FULL OF KARAOKE SINGERS”. Patrick’s entertaining programs show audiences what happens when Keynotes, Comedy, and Concerts Collide. To book Patrick Henry for your next event, visit www.patrickhenryspeaker.com