Dont Call Me a Comedian

What’s the difference between a comedian and a humorist? Most humorists, especially those who began their careers as comedians, would say that the difference is context…(and money). Comedians primarily perform in comedy clubs while humorists are often writers and speak and perform at conventions, association meetings, and corporate events.

A popular quip among my buddies in the National Speakers Association is “do you have to be funny to be a professional speaker?...only if you want to get paid”. My goal as a humorist is to, not only make people laugh, but to also deliver content, motivation, and expertise to my audiences in a funny way. For that reason, I was pleasantly surprised and a little taken off guard when SiriusXM Radio called and asked me to perform a one hour comedy show from the Blue Collar Theater in Nashville, Tennessee last month. In one phone call I became what I never aspired to be…a comedian. I don’t perform in comedy clubs so, in preparation for my show, I pored over my material and removed anything that resembled content. My wife and I, along with some friends from North Carolina, flew to Nashville for the recording. The Blue Collar Radio theater is tucked away in the Bridgestone Arena in downtown Nashville. The Southeastern Conference Championship basketball game was being held that weekend so we fought our way through Vanderbilt and University of Kentucky fans until a security guard saw us and escorted us inside. The studio audience, made up of invited guests and SiriusXM subscribers, was lined up waiting to go in. After a few brief hellos, I was escorted up the elevator to the “green room” in rock star fashion which is where I decided that I could get used to being a comedian. For about 20 minutes I chatted with the programmers for the SiriusXM comedy stations. One of them said “I love you Blue Collar Radio guys”. I asked why and he told me that he regularly visits comedy clubs across the country looking for talent to put on the radio for the uncensored comedy stations such as Raw Dog or the Foxxhole.  He said “ I will find someone who I think is great and ask them to send me their materials so I can put them on the radio…they rarely follow through.” He then went on to say “when I ask one of you Blue Collar guys to send me your materials, not only do I have a package the next day…there’s a box of cookies with it”.

As a professional speaker I have to sell myself on a regular basis to meeting planners. In order to do that, I must have video, a cd, marketing materials, and a website. When SiriusXM radio asked for my materials, I simply reached onto the shelf and put together a package (with cookies) and over-nighted it. Opportunities come to us every day. The people who take advantage of those opportunities are prepared to embrace them. Talent, skill, and a good product are prerequisites for success. The trigger that creates the emotional buy-in, however, is often in the packaging. Are you waiting to be discovered? or are you building a package that will enable you to embrace success?

Patrick Henry is a funny professional speaker, author and songwriter. He is the author of The Pancake Principle: Seventeen sticky ways to make your customers flip for you. Buy it at Amazon.com 

http://www.amazon.com/The-Pancake-Principle-Seventeen-Customers/dp/1457515792/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366036431&sr=8-1&keywords=the+pancake+principle

I'LL HAVE THE LOBSTER... WITH A SIDE OF COMMUNICATION

I recently coached a client in presentation skills and as a token of appreciation, he sent me a $150 gift card to Ruth’s Chris steak house.  My wife and I decided to use it to celebrate our eighth wedding anniversary. I have eaten at Ruth’s Chris before and fully intended on tearing through the gift card like Caesar through Gaul, but what happened next was a very expensive lesson in the power of communication. When we arrived at the restaurant, my wife and I requested a booth in the corner so we could be fully present with each other. We ordered wine and perused the menu. I wouldn’t call myself cheap, but I have yet to look at the prices on the menu at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse and not wince ever-so-slightly. Maybe it was the wine. Maybe it was the mood of the moment, but I decided to throw caution to the wind and order the whole Maine Lobster. I love lobster. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of my father returning from business trips to New England with a crate of live Maine lobsters. I can remember being woken up at eleven o clock one night because my father’s plane had been delayed, but that wasn’t going to stop us from having a lobster feast. My mother started boiling a pot and we dined into the wee hours of the morning.  That’s where my love of lobster began and now I was continuing it at Ruth’s Chris steak house. The waiter described the specials, raved about the filet, and finally I asked “hows the Maine lobster?” His eyes lit up as if I’d asked about his children. He went into a description that had me giddy with excitement. “How much?” I asked. “$37.00?, bring me a Maine Lobster”. It was every bit as good as he described. The succulent morsels dissolved in my mouth, the butter dripped from my chin and my smoking hot wife stared lovingly at me from across the table. I was in heaven. We enjoyed the evening all the way through the after dinner B&B. When the check arrived, I pulled out my gift card to see if we had fufilled the limit…we had. Maybe it was intentional or maybe it was because english was our waiters second language, but apparently, when I asked how much the lobster was, he left off the words… PER POUND. I ended up paying $120.00 for a beady eyed shellfish! I was speechless. I should have become suspicious when the manager came over to shake my hand and thank me for ordering the lobster. I now know why the kitchen staff was lined up at the door dabbing their eyes. They were saying goodbye to an old friend. That damn lobster was probably soaking in a tub for years, growing fat, waiting for a sucker like me to come along. What would you do if you were in that situation? I wanted to wring the waiters neck, but I didn’t. I didn’t even complain. I simply paid the bill, tipped the waiter and left with my wife. I decided that the lack of communication was as much my fault as it was Raul’s. Will I go back to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse? Probably, although that particular restaurant has seen the last of me.

There are two parts to effective communication. Listening is as important as speaking. My fault was in my assumption and not asking questions. His fault was not presenting all of the facts. Did Raul benefit from the lack of communication?... yes and no. Sure he made about thirty dollars more on his tip, but he lost the opportunity to create a profitable relationship. Every time you interact with a customer, it is an opportunity to seed the relationship for future opportunities. Had Raul been more forth coming with the information, he would have created an emotional debt that I would have paid at a future date. Maybe with friends, clients, or even a party of ten.

Are you creating a culture of openness with your clients, customers or team? Do you communicate effectively? As the presidential campaign is in full swing, Mitt Romney is being blasted for not sharing his financial records, and this is ticking some folks off. I don’t care which side of the aisle you’re on, I believe that those who find this offensive do so, not because they care how much money he makes, but rather because of the lack of communication. When you don’t communicate effectively you diminish trust. No trust? No Sale!

TOFU WRAPPED BACON...BE THE BRAND

“Clean Comedian for corporate, government, or personal events. Contact me for rates and availability.” That’s what the post said on the professional speakers and entertainers group that I am a part of on Linkedin. I was intrigued, not because I am looking for a corporate comic, but because I wanted to see the face of the person who would break etiquette and blatantly advertise 

bacon wrapped tofu

on Linkedin. I googled the name and found a youtube clip of a comedy show that he did a couple of years ago. “Clean Comedian” is how this person branded himself and 28 seconds into his act, he dropped the F Bomb. THE F BOMB! Now don’t get me wrong, I am not easily offended by profanity as long as it’s not around my kids, but I AM offended by a misleading branding statement. If you say your book is a best seller, you'd better not mean within your mother’s bible study. If you say you are the toughest man in the world, there had better be a line of broken and battered bodies littering your wake, and if you say you are a clean comedian then you’d better not drop the F bomb. If I were to have a conversation with this gentleman and express my opinion he would probably tell me that he modifies his language based on the event, or he may just tell me to ‘F’ OFF. I would then tell him “you can’t call yourself a vegeterian and have your tofu wrapped in bacon”. Unlike in years past, we no longer have control over our brand. Major companies such as Nike, Apple, and McDonalds spend millions of dollars on creating a branding statement which is nothing more than four or five words that come to mind when you hear a product name. Nike=swoosh, sports, running, football. Apple= Mac, sleek, fast, elite. McDonalds = easy, tasty, kids, cheap. For years, corporations were able to control their brand with advertisments and commercials. This is no longer the case. Thanks to social media and youtube, the control of our brand has transferred to the consumer. If I receive bad customer service, I tell my online community. If I do it in a funny or interesting way then it will ripple into their communities. Videos of me speaking and performing are all over Youtube and Vimeo. Some were put up by me and some by others. Because the internet provides immediate access into our brand, there is a transparency between us and the customer that has never before existed.  The best way for us to promote and protect our brand is to simply…BE THE BRAND. 

CREATING PROFITABLE RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH...CONTEXT

In 2004 my world changed.  It was altered, not because of events or circumstances, but because of context. I became a husband in 2004. I became a father in 2004, then again in 2005, and once more in 2008. Finally my wife told me that if I wanted another child I would have to do it with my next wife. Up until 2004 my identity existed on the basis of accomplishment, achievement, or circumstance.  I suddenly found myself with an identity predicated by something different…context.  My friend and fellow professional speaker John Crudele summed up the true meaning of context for me.  He told me that the moon is only the moon because of the Earth. Its relationship to the earth is what frames its identity. He said without context and mutual attraction, it is just a rock floating in space. 

I am a husband and father, not because of me or what I've done, but rather because of my relationship to my wife and kids. Just like our identity as a family member is determined by the relationship to the rest of the family, so is the identity of our customers. Our customers are not our customers because we exist. We are who we are because our customers exist. As a professional speaker and writer, I only maintain that identity if I have an audience. If not, I am just another opininated big mouth looking at an empty calendar on the wall of my office. I am a humorist. I believe that funny is funner so I try to incorporate humor into everything I do. I was once asked during an interview “what is the difference between a comedian and a humorist?” I thought for a minute about all of the humorists that I know and gave the most honest answer I could even though many comedians would disagree.  I said that most comedians believe the audience is there for them. As a humorist, I am there for my audience. When you treat your customers as if your existence depends on them, you will be nicer, more efficient, more transparent, and just plain better than if you operate as if your customers need you. When your customer relationship is based on mutual attraction and context, you decommoditize your position in your industry and become the brand.

Social Media Is For The Dogs!

I finally get social media.  No, I didn’t just acquire 500 linkedin connections, or get my twitter account up and running. Like 3/4ths of the human population, I have been a user of social media for years. It is only now that I finally get it. Like most facebook users over thirty, I segment my friends into those I went to high school with, college buddies, professional acquaintances, local friends, and cyber hookers with 46 friends who slip through the cracks undetected. I usually post witty remarks, photos, or videos about my life, business, kids, accomplishments, or challenges. I send it out into the universe hoping that my thousands of friends find me as interesting as I do. I am all things to all people.

      Yesterday I had a pure social media experience that gave me my AHA! Moment. My three year old was standing at the door yelling goggy, goggy. I was working in my office placating her with “that’s right dear, doggy, good doggy”. She became more animated so I got up and walked to the glass door. She was nose to nose with a black, wolfish looking dog that had wandered onto our porch. It turned out that the dog was very friendly, very thirsty, and very lost. Its tag had fallen off, so after giving it water and explaining to my daughter why we don’t put our face next to strange dogs, I took a picture with my Iphone and posted on my facebook page. My post simply said “lost dog. If you live in Burlington and recognize this dog, get in touch…before my kids get too attached”.  Within ½ hour, the dog was back home safe and sound with its grateful owners thanks to one of my facebook peeps who live next door to them. I now realize that this is what social media is all about. It is certainly what the 25 year old twitter users with 150,000 followers have understood from the start. Social media is about more than connection, it is about connecting on common ground.  It is about having a conversation with like minded souls on a specific topic. Did my 1500 plus facebook friends who do not live in my town respond to my post? No! because I wasn’t talking to them and they knew it. Most of us are like the guy on the off ramp with the sign that says “will work for food…God bless”. His message is generic and displayed without purpose. Thousands pass him daily with little interest in his message. When we start joining conversations based on topic, geography, ideology, brand loyalty etc., we can then make connections with individuals on a personal level. They will buy our products, align with our beliefs, and drink our kool-aid. By the way, if you happen to pay someone to tweet, post, or manage your social media, you have missed the point. In order to effectively use social media, you must be authentic and be willing to participate in a conversation. If you are the only one who is doing the talking, you are talking to yourself.