I'LL HAVE THE LOBSTER... WITH A SIDE OF COMMUNICATION

I recently coached a client in presentation skills and as a token of appreciation, he sent me a $150 gift card to Ruth’s Chris steak house.  My wife and I decided to use it to celebrate our eighth wedding anniversary. I have eaten at Ruth’s Chris before and fully intended on tearing through the gift card like Caesar through Gaul, but what happened next was a very expensive lesson in the power of communication. When we arrived at the restaurant, my wife and I requested a booth in the corner so we could be fully present with each other. We ordered wine and perused the menu. I wouldn’t call myself cheap, but I have yet to look at the prices on the menu at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse and not wince ever-so-slightly. Maybe it was the wine. Maybe it was the mood of the moment, but I decided to throw caution to the wind and order the whole Maine Lobster. I love lobster. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of my father returning from business trips to New England with a crate of live Maine lobsters. I can remember being woken up at eleven o clock one night because my father’s plane had been delayed, but that wasn’t going to stop us from having a lobster feast. My mother started boiling a pot and we dined into the wee hours of the morning.  That’s where my love of lobster began and now I was continuing it at Ruth’s Chris steak house. The waiter described the specials, raved about the filet, and finally I asked “hows the Maine lobster?” His eyes lit up as if I’d asked about his children. He went into a description that had me giddy with excitement. “How much?” I asked. “$37.00?, bring me a Maine Lobster”. It was every bit as good as he described. The succulent morsels dissolved in my mouth, the butter dripped from my chin and my smoking hot wife stared lovingly at me from across the table. I was in heaven. We enjoyed the evening all the way through the after dinner B&B. When the check arrived, I pulled out my gift card to see if we had fufilled the limit…we had. Maybe it was intentional or maybe it was because english was our waiters second language, but apparently, when I asked how much the lobster was, he left off the words… PER POUND. I ended up paying $120.00 for a beady eyed shellfish! I was speechless. I should have become suspicious when the manager came over to shake my hand and thank me for ordering the lobster. I now know why the kitchen staff was lined up at the door dabbing their eyes. They were saying goodbye to an old friend. That damn lobster was probably soaking in a tub for years, growing fat, waiting for a sucker like me to come along. What would you do if you were in that situation? I wanted to wring the waiters neck, but I didn’t. I didn’t even complain. I simply paid the bill, tipped the waiter and left with my wife. I decided that the lack of communication was as much my fault as it was Raul’s. Will I go back to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse? Probably, although that particular restaurant has seen the last of me.

There are two parts to effective communication. Listening is as important as speaking. My fault was in my assumption and not asking questions. His fault was not presenting all of the facts. Did Raul benefit from the lack of communication?... yes and no. Sure he made about thirty dollars more on his tip, but he lost the opportunity to create a profitable relationship. Every time you interact with a customer, it is an opportunity to seed the relationship for future opportunities. Had Raul been more forth coming with the information, he would have created an emotional debt that I would have paid at a future date. Maybe with friends, clients, or even a party of ten.

Are you creating a culture of openness with your clients, customers or team? Do you communicate effectively? As the presidential campaign is in full swing, Mitt Romney is being blasted for not sharing his financial records, and this is ticking some folks off. I don’t care which side of the aisle you’re on, I believe that those who find this offensive do so, not because they care how much money he makes, but rather because of the lack of communication. When you don’t communicate effectively you diminish trust. No trust? No Sale!

CREATING PROFITABLE RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH...CONTEXT

In 2004 my world changed.  It was altered, not because of events or circumstances, but because of context. I became a husband in 2004. I became a father in 2004, then again in 2005, and once more in 2008. Finally my wife told me that if I wanted another child I would have to do it with my next wife. Up until 2004 my identity existed on the basis of accomplishment, achievement, or circumstance.  I suddenly found myself with an identity predicated by something different…context.  My friend and fellow professional speaker John Crudele summed up the true meaning of context for me.  He told me that the moon is only the moon because of the Earth. Its relationship to the earth is what frames its identity. He said without context and mutual attraction, it is just a rock floating in space. 

I am a husband and father, not because of me or what I've done, but rather because of my relationship to my wife and kids. Just like our identity as a family member is determined by the relationship to the rest of the family, so is the identity of our customers. Our customers are not our customers because we exist. We are who we are because our customers exist. As a professional speaker and writer, I only maintain that identity if I have an audience. If not, I am just another opininated big mouth looking at an empty calendar on the wall of my office. I am a humorist. I believe that funny is funner so I try to incorporate humor into everything I do. I was once asked during an interview “what is the difference between a comedian and a humorist?” I thought for a minute about all of the humorists that I know and gave the most honest answer I could even though many comedians would disagree.  I said that most comedians believe the audience is there for them. As a humorist, I am there for my audience. When you treat your customers as if your existence depends on them, you will be nicer, more efficient, more transparent, and just plain better than if you operate as if your customers need you. When your customer relationship is based on mutual attraction and context, you decommoditize your position in your industry and become the brand.

Painting HiSTORY

Staring at the painting of the two Japanese women hanging in my mother’s house, I realize that I have stared at that picture my whole life. I first remember it on a wall in my grandparents’ house beside the upright piano that my grandfather loved to play, especially after a scotch on the rocks had loosened his fingers. Surrounded by southwestern art, a shadow box of arrow heads, and a painting of a running mule deer, I didn’t understand how out of place the painting of the two Japanese women was. I just knew that it was always there and had come to represent the dependable, unchanging, stability that tends to only be found at your grandparents’ house.

As a child, I always knew that my grandfather had fought in World War II, but his service had been somewhat marginalized in my young mind by what I saw in old movies and what little he told me about his experience. To me, WWII was a bunch of white guys wearing green or khaki uniforms with shirts tucked in and hair perfectly combed with a part down the side.  I also presumed that most of it was fought in black and white. Like my hundreds of plastic army men, no-one actually got hurt and everyone got to go home for dinner. It wasn’t until I had left my teenage years behind that I actually learned the truth about World War II and the truth about the painting.

If you study the painting in my mothers house, you may think it is good. You may even think it is really good despite the simplicity of the subjects. How much would you pay for a good painting? two hundred dollars, five hundred dollars, a thousand dollars? If you were to compare it to a similar painting, you may decide that it  doesn’t measure up. You may even begin to notice the rudimentary flaws in the design, the unproportioned features of the subjects, and perhaps the fallability of the artist. You may decide that it isn’t worth a lot of money until you hear, as Paul Harvey used to say,”the rest of the story”.

My Grandfather was an engineer in the Army Air Corps during World War II. He built runways and buildings on Okinawa. One of his responsibilities was to oversee Japanese POWs. We have all heard the horror stories of how the American POWs in the South Pacific were treated. I’ve learned that, as a whole, Americans were much kinder and humane to POWs than their Japanese counterparts and my grandfather was no different. Although efficient and strict, he treated the POWs he supervised with kindness and respect. He allowed no ill treatment on his watch. As a matter of fact, because of the humane treatment that the Japanese POWs received under my grandfather, they viewed him with respect. I was told that the Japanese soldiers would put on theatrical productions and invite him and his officers to attend. They would clear the front row to provide them a place to sit. When my grandfather was due to return to the States, he bid farewell to many of the Japanese POWs that he had come to know, and in some cases like. It was then that he was unexpectedly presented with a gift.

You may look at the painting of the two Japanese women hanging on the wall in my mothers house and think it is good. You may even decide you would pay two hundred dollars, five hundred or even a thousand dollars for such a painting. The value of the painting, however, may change in your mind if you knew that in 1945, a Japanese prisoner of war painted two Japanese women on a United States Army issued bed sheet using paints that he made with materials that he found in and around an Okinawan POW camp. He would then present the painting to my grandfather as a token of appreciation for the kindness bestowed upon he and his comrades by their captor. How about now? A million dollars, two million? How much would someone pay for a painting with the history of the one on my mother’s wall ? That is a question that will never be answered because the painting will never be sold.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Value is in the eye of the buyer. Long term relationships are created when value is provided. We routinely pay $4.00 for a cup of Starbucks Coffee, not because it tastes better than the coffee sold in the gas station or at McDonalds, but rather because of the context in which it is delivered. Why do people pay hundreds of dollars more for front row seats at a Broadway show or rock concert? CONTEXT! Creating an extraordinary customer experience is not simply about providing quality goods and services. It is about providing those goods and services within the context of:

1.     FRIENDSHIP- People will buy from friends first.

2.     TRUST- When your goal is to provide value rather than simply closing a sale then you establish trust.

3.     CONVENIENCE- Is it easy to do business with you? your customers will tell you.

4.     EMPATHY-  People want to buy from those who genuinely care about their  challenges and problems. When you care, you become a guide to the solution.

Whether you are in sales, management, education or an entrepreneur, the product, service, or message that we provide, is only as powerful as the person behind the product and the context in which it is delivered.

SPEECH SERIES PART 5

HOW TO WRITE AND DELIVER A FREAKING AMAZING SPEECH IN 30 MINUTES OR LESS


CHAPTER 5.

To Script Or Not To Script

 I have had more than one person tell me that they don’t like to prepare a speech, they’d rather just wing it. When I hear that I immediately think that they are  over-confident , amateurish, and getting ready to crash and burn. More importantly, I believe that they are missing a huge opportunity to connect with their audience. You may get lucky in front of a group of friends from time to time by delivering off the cuff, but 9 times out of 10 you will suck! John Wooden’s line “ the failure to prepare is preparing to fail” is absolute gospel when creating and delivering a freaking amazing speech. I am a huge propent of scripting. This is where some people disagree with me so read what I have to say and decide for yourself. Scripting your comments will allow you to craft exactly what you want to say and how you want to say it. You may say “Patrick, I don’t want to come across as scripted”. Great point! Then don’t read your speech! There is nothing worse than someone who reads a speech from behind a lectern. I was having a conversation with a fellow professional speaker named Warren Greshes. Warren teaches selling skills and we were talking about how to engage clients on the phone. Warren said “Patrick, give me the first line of your phone pitch”. I told him that I didn’t have a first line. “Why not?” he asked. I told him that I didn’t want to sound scripted. He then asked me if I had ever been to a Broadway show in New York city. I told him that I had seen a couple of shows on a recent visit and He said “Patrick, did the actors do a good job?” “Of course Warren, they are the best”, “Did they sound scripted?” “Of course not”. “Patrick, do you think that Broadway actors wing it or do you think that they work from a script?”. I said that they work from a script. “Why don’t they sound scripted?...BECAUSE THEY PRACTICE !” Most amateur speakers script out their speech, but they go no further. When they get up in front of the room, it is obvious that they are reading a speech. When I deliver a speech, you will hear many of the same stories. I have practiced these stories so many times that even the inflections on certain words are the same from speech to speech. After you script your remarks…PRACTICE! The key here is not to just memorize words, but learn your speech. There is a difference. Once you learn your stories, then you will have the confidence that makes a good speaker a great one, and if you veer off script, you can find your way back. Former Auburn football coach Pat Dye used to say “practice doesn’t make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect”. I realize that this is a Vince Lombardi quote but my blood runs orange and blue so as far as I’m concerned it’s a Pat Dye quote. PRACTICE!!!

DO THIS:

·      SCRIPT FIRST

·      LEARN WORDS

·      PRACTICE DELIVERY

TALKING TIP: DON’T BRING UP A SCRIPT OF YOUR SPEECH TO THE STAGE. IF YOU NEED NOTES, USE BULLET POINTS AND KEYWORDS TO REMIND YOU OF WHAT COMES NEXT. BY THE WAY, 90% OF PEOPLE DON’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PODIUM AND A LECTERN. YOU STAND ON A PODIUM AND SPEAK FROM BEHIND A LECTERN.

Lessons from the back of the pack

Had you been standing next to me the morning of July 26^th, 2008, you would have been standing on the shore of North Carolina’s Lake Cammack watching the sunrise. Had you been standing next to me on July 26^th, 2008, you would have found yourself surrounded by 500 people preparing to compete in the Mission Man Triathlon, and had you listened closely on that thick morning in July you may have heard me whisper and possibly whimper quietly to myself… “What in the heck have I gotten myself into?”

For almost ten years, I have been an avid practitioner of Mixed Martial Arts. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Muy Thai Kickboxing… I love it all, but now that I see 40 on the not too distant horizon, I have realized two things about the sport I love. 1. The guys are getting younger, stronger, and faster, and 2. I am too old to be getting hit and/or kicked in the face… I needed a new sport. One afternoon my brother and I were having a conversation when I told him that I was looking for a new challenge. I wanted a sport a little on the extreme side but with minimal chance of bodily harm. I wanted to reduce the risk of getting hit and/or kicked in the face. He said why not compete in a triathlon? At 6’4, 225 pounds, I have never considered myself the “triathlon type”, but he then uttered the words that sent me on my way to becoming a tried and true, full fledged triathlete….He said ”I dare you”. “you dare me?” “you daRE ME??!!?? ..don’t dare me Bubba, I’ll do it. When is it?” He said “there’s one in three weeks”……… “DONE” !!!!

For the next three weeks I trained like a mad man. I ran every day. I swam every day and I borrowed a bike that I rode everyday. When the morning of the triathlon arrived, I was up before the sun. I packed my gear and headed out to the race site. At the starting point, I stood in thigh deep water with my bright blue swim cap holding in my slightly graying hair. My spandex biker shorts and under-armour top were struggling against my slightly expanding mid-section. I looked like a super hero five years past his prime. When the horn sounded we took off like a school of grunion. I was paddling as fast and furious as my arms would allow. Fifty yards into the swim I began to tire. 60 yards into the swim, my freestyle turned into a breast-stroke, and by the time I reached the first buoy, was doggy paddling. When you doggy paddle your way through a triathlon you become the unwilling provider of piggyback rides for anyone who happens to have started behind you. Half way through the swim as I was being passed by the competitors wearing pink swim caps, (women over 40), I made eye contact with a grandmotherly woman who could not have been day under 65. In a cosmic moment of irony and humiliation, she overtook me, passed me by, and then KICKED me right in the face.

LESSON….. IT TAKES LONGER THAN THREE WEEKS TO TRAIN FOR A TRIATHLON !!

My friend and fellow speaker Bill Bachrach is a real triathlete. Bill is a Hawaiian Iron Man, which means he completed a 2.5 mile swim, 116 mile bike ride and a marathon. I asked Bill “what does it take to become an Iron Man?” I expected him to tell me of above average athleticism, superhuman strength and endurance, but instead, he told me that it all came down to commitment. Do you have the time, patience and discipline to focus your efforts on the process of training to become great? He said the roadmap to becoming an Iron man is finite, measurable and tested. All it takes from you is a commitment to work the process.

What is your commitment to the process of becoming an Iron Sales Man? Are you working a process or slinging it up against the wall hoping something sticks. Martial Arts legend Gene Lebel said “the harder you train the luckier you get”. The same is true for sales.

Here are three simple tips to incorporate into your sales workout:


  1.   WAKE UP EARLY.  By the time your competition’s feet hit the floor in the morning, you should be on step three of your daily to do list. “The early bird gets the worm”…I love worm..tastes like chicken. 

2. READ TWENTY MINUTES OF POSITIVE MATERIAL DAILY. Before you logon to Fox News, CNN, or enter the blogosphere and get the latest dose of negative headlines, start with twenty minutes of uplifting material. It is like waking up and chugging a glass of water. (ever done it ?…you’ll feel amazing

         3. PRACTICE . Having trouble on the phone? Practice with a mirror on your desk or the camera on your computer…smile and create friendly facial expressions and it will come through in your voice. Create scripts and practice them until you don’t sound rehearsed. Roll play with friends or co-workers until walking into a brand new office feels exciting.

Patrick Henry is a songwriter, author, and speaker, who shows clients how to create distinction in the market place and blow away the competition with the four keys to becoming a “ROCKSTAR IN A ROOM FULL OF KARAOKE SINGERS”. Patrick’s entertaining programs show audiences what happens when Keynotes, Comedy, and Concerts Collide. For more information go to www.patrickhenryspeaker.com