TOFU WRAPPED BACON...BE THE BRAND

“Clean Comedian for corporate, government, or personal events. Contact me for rates and availability.” That’s what the post said on the professional speakers and entertainers group that I am a part of on Linkedin. I was intrigued, not because I am looking for a corporate comic, but because I wanted to see the face of the person who would break etiquette and blatantly advertise 

bacon wrapped tofu

on Linkedin. I googled the name and found a youtube clip of a comedy show that he did a couple of years ago. “Clean Comedian” is how this person branded himself and 28 seconds into his act, he dropped the F Bomb. THE F BOMB! Now don’t get me wrong, I am not easily offended by profanity as long as it’s not around my kids, but I AM offended by a misleading branding statement. If you say your book is a best seller, you'd better not mean within your mother’s bible study. If you say you are the toughest man in the world, there had better be a line of broken and battered bodies littering your wake, and if you say you are a clean comedian then you’d better not drop the F bomb. If I were to have a conversation with this gentleman and express my opinion he would probably tell me that he modifies his language based on the event, or he may just tell me to ‘F’ OFF. I would then tell him “you can’t call yourself a vegeterian and have your tofu wrapped in bacon”. Unlike in years past, we no longer have control over our brand. Major companies such as Nike, Apple, and McDonalds spend millions of dollars on creating a branding statement which is nothing more than four or five words that come to mind when you hear a product name. Nike=swoosh, sports, running, football. Apple= Mac, sleek, fast, elite. McDonalds = easy, tasty, kids, cheap. For years, corporations were able to control their brand with advertisments and commercials. This is no longer the case. Thanks to social media and youtube, the control of our brand has transferred to the consumer. If I receive bad customer service, I tell my online community. If I do it in a funny or interesting way then it will ripple into their communities. Videos of me speaking and performing are all over Youtube and Vimeo. Some were put up by me and some by others. Because the internet provides immediate access into our brand, there is a transparency between us and the customer that has never before existed.  The best way for us to promote and protect our brand is to simply…BE THE BRAND. 

CREATING PROFITABLE RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH...CONTEXT

In 2004 my world changed.  It was altered, not because of events or circumstances, but because of context. I became a husband in 2004. I became a father in 2004, then again in 2005, and once more in 2008. Finally my wife told me that if I wanted another child I would have to do it with my next wife. Up until 2004 my identity existed on the basis of accomplishment, achievement, or circumstance.  I suddenly found myself with an identity predicated by something different…context.  My friend and fellow professional speaker John Crudele summed up the true meaning of context for me.  He told me that the moon is only the moon because of the Earth. Its relationship to the earth is what frames its identity. He said without context and mutual attraction, it is just a rock floating in space. 

I am a husband and father, not because of me or what I've done, but rather because of my relationship to my wife and kids. Just like our identity as a family member is determined by the relationship to the rest of the family, so is the identity of our customers. Our customers are not our customers because we exist. We are who we are because our customers exist. As a professional speaker and writer, I only maintain that identity if I have an audience. If not, I am just another opininated big mouth looking at an empty calendar on the wall of my office. I am a humorist. I believe that funny is funner so I try to incorporate humor into everything I do. I was once asked during an interview “what is the difference between a comedian and a humorist?” I thought for a minute about all of the humorists that I know and gave the most honest answer I could even though many comedians would disagree.  I said that most comedians believe the audience is there for them. As a humorist, I am there for my audience. When you treat your customers as if your existence depends on them, you will be nicer, more efficient, more transparent, and just plain better than if you operate as if your customers need you. When your customer relationship is based on mutual attraction and context, you decommoditize your position in your industry and become the brand.

Death of a Lawnman

My lawn man died.  It took me by surprise when my mother-in-law showed me the obituary a few months ago, but there it was in black and white… Dennis was gone. Dennis was a real nice man and although I didn’t know him very well, we did have a couple of meaningful conversations leaning against the fence that separates my property from Mrs. Smith’s.

I grew up cutting grass. As a boy in Auburn, Alabama, I mowed almost every yard in my neighborhood, and as I painstakingly manicured the lawns of the Bent Creek subdivision, I used to fantasize about one day having a lawn man to do it for me.  I did – and now he was gone.  I will miss him, but now I faced a dilemma. Dennis charged the same rate for twenty-five years. Even when gas spiked at over three dollars a gallon, Dennis held firm. His rate was far below what the big landscaping companies in our area charge -- and there was no way I was going to pay that -- so I decided to man up and get back into the business of mowing lawns.  My lawn.

After a testosterone-filled trip to Lowe’s Home Improvement Store (full of grunting, pointing, and kicking the tires of the zero-turn-radius lawn mowers), I arrived home with a new mower (not a zero turn radius), a weed eater, and a high-powered blower. I was locked, cocked, and ready to rock.

For three months now I have been mowing my own lawn and have discovered a few truths that I feel are worth sharing. First of all, I love mowing my yard. I feel a sense of pride and satisfaction when I am finished that I never did as a kid. This came as quite a surprise to me, because for years the smell of fresh cut grass reminded me of hours of hard labor in the unforgiving Alabama sun. Secondly, I discovered that I do a better job than Dennis did. Don’t misunderstand me, I am not disparaging Dennis in any way, but I wasn’t paying him enough to pick up sticks, trim shrubs, and edge the driveway.  He came once a week, mowed and left. Finally, I now know every inch of my property. This sounds a bit silly, especially since I have lived in my house for four years, but when you are responsible for managing your own yard, you become familiar with every nook, cranny, root, rut, and problem area.

So why now? Why do I now feel differently about doing something I despised as a kid? One word:  OWNERSHIP. I own my property, therefore I take pride in its appearance. I own my property, therefore I take responsibility for its functionality and purpose. If I don’t manage a routine maintenance schedule, the blame for the appearance of my yard lays with me.  Why? Because I own it.

 Why would it be any different in your business? The most successful salespeople are the ones who take ownership.  You may not sign your own paycheck, but when you take ownership of your customers, clients, product lines, and territories, you begin to control your outcome.

Here are three ways to OWN THE SALE:

GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY. I once spoke for a restaurant chain that required all of the management trainees sweep the parking lot for a week. I was told that at the end of the week the trainees will be able to fully understand and appreciate the job they are asking a restaurant employee to do -- as well as know EXACTLY how long it should take to complete the task.

INTIMATELY KNOW YOUR YARD (PRODUCT).  My friend Jimmy Prophet sells industrial batteries. He not only knows his product, he knows so much about the equipment that utilizes his product that company engineers call him in to solve problems they can’t. Do you think his competition can intimidate him by undercutting his price? NO WAY. He is a valuable resource.

MAINTAIN YOUR MOWER.   It is amazing how much easier it is to cut my grass when I have the blade sharpened regularly. Is your company too cheap to buy you a new laptop? Buy your own. Boss too stingy to reimburse for client meals? If it closes the deal, pay for it yourself. You are the owner.  It’s time to stop complaining and cut the grass. 

Patrick Henry is a songwriter, author, and professional speaker, who shows clients how to create distinction in the market place and blow away the competition with the four keys to becoming a “ROCKSTAR IN A ROOM FULL OF KARAOKE SINGERS”. Patrick’s entertaining programs show audiences what happens when Keynotes, Comedy, and Concerts Collide. For more information go to www.PatrickHenrySpeaker.com

IT’S CALLED A SPEECH

I don’t much care for awards shows. Every now and then, however, I will see someone who impresses or even inspires me, like when Cuba Gooding Jr. won an Oscar for his role in Jerry Mcguire or when Roberto Benigni won an Oscar in 1998 for Life is Beautiful.  For the most part I see a room full of people who haven’t had a job in months who are just happy to be dressed up and out of the house.

My wife enjoys awards shows, so when the Screen Actors Guild Awards aired on January 23^rd…we watched it. I was actually quite impressed with Sandra Bullock and especially Betty White who hails back to an era where class and decorum were the order of the day. I was completely underwhelmed by Drew Barrymore. When the award for best actress in a television movie or miniseries was announced, Drew Barrymore’s name was called. She gave the customary “oh my God I can’t believe it’s me” look to her fellow aisle mates then made the triumphant march to the stage to accept her prize. This is where the wheels came off !!!!

I am a professional speaker. I believe that a person’s ability to effectively communicate thoughts, ideas, and gratitude is paramount in fomenting success regardless of profession. Apparently Drew Barrymore doesn’t think so. As she accepted her award, she began to stutter and stumble over her words in a cutesy and contrived display of ums & ands.  When the awkward moment began to turn uncomfortable, she said “usually improv is a good thing….it’s backfiring on me very badly right now”. I have news for you Drew, IT’S NOT IMPROV….IT’S A SPEECH !!!!.  Considering that you have been in the movie business since before ET phoned home, it is a speech that you should have been prepared for!!!!!!

In a matter of seconds she went, in my eyes, from brilliant to buffoon, from star to stammer, from “bless my stars” to “bless her heart”, all because she was painfully unprepared.

There are certain moments where the right words delivered with eloquence, passion and skill can create, what my friend Scott Mckain calls, a mountain top experience. In sales, these moments happen EVERYDAY. Are you prepared? Have you developed the skill and “material” to inspire people to action?

Three ways to prepare for your awards speech:

COLLECT MATERIAL.

Continually be on the lookout for real life experiences, stories, and anecdotes that can be recalled and delivered with dexterity at a moments notice.  Become an expert in your field and your client’s by reading books, articles and web copy about topics that relate to the field.  Keep a file.


LISTEN TO GREAT SPEAKERS

      Never miss an opportunity to listen to great speakers speak. Don’t steal their material, take note of their style and technique then create your own.
    
PRACTICE

      As good as you think you are, YOU’RE NOT!!!.  I don’t care how many successful wedding toasts you’ve given. Until you’ve delivered a thousand speeches or presentations, you still have room for improvement. Even then, you still can find ways to become better. JOIN TOASTMASTERS…NOW!

The Ballad of Rusty The Roofer

Sitting in the living room of “Yellow House”, watching water drip from four different leaks in the ceiling, I decided that it was time to fix the roof. Yellow House was a rental property in Nashville that I shared with my two beautiful female roommates years ago who, despite my best efforts, still thought of me as a buddy.

After receiving a number of estimates, a guy pulled up unannounced one afternoon in a white van and said “wud up?” Enter Rusty the Roofer. Rusty was a red faced, red headed, redneck who offered to repair my roof for half of what the other roofers would. In my naiveté’ I hired him on the spot. The events that transpired over the next week taught me two things, 1. In the words of Ronald Reagan “trust but verify”, and 2. Never do business with a guy in a white van.

On the first day, Rusty and his crew came out and took all of the shingles off of the house. I had to later apologize to my female neighbors for the cat-calls that were being lobbed from my roof like grapefruit. Taking shingles off of a roof does not require exorbitant amounts of brain matter.  Putting new shingles on, however, requires a bit more skill, but in order to apply that skill one must be present. When Rusty was ready to leave for the day at the crack of two, he told me that he would return the following morning at 9:00 am. I assured him I would be waiting. The next morning, nine o’clock came, nine o’clock went and I was left standing on my porch underneath my naked roof growing agitated. Rusty finally showed up at 10:30 and apologized for his tardiness. I told him that I was planning my workday around his start time so I insisted that he be on time. The following day at 9:00 am, I am standing on my porch waiting for Rusty to show up only to be stood up yet again. When he rolled into my driveway at eleven o’clock, I was hot. I said “Rusty, when you tell me that you are going to arrive at nine….I EXPECT YOU TO BE THERE !!!!! When you don’t arrive until eleven you screw up my whole day.” Rusty looked at me and said “Patrick you’re right. But I have a good excuse. Last night I was out at a bar and met a woman who is doctor from Vanderbilt Medical Center and we [Partied] all night long.” I looked at him with an incredulous look on my face and said “Rusty, don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t look like the type of guy who [parties] with doctors from Vanderbilt.” He chuckled and said “you’re right, but last night I had it going on, I was looking sharp…. I HAD ALL MY GOLD ON”

I guess I underestimated the seductive charms of a herring bone chain and a nugget pinky ring. I told him that doing business with him was becoming more trouble than it was worth and he looked me in the eye and said “Patrick, you have to admit that 90% of the time, I do exactly what I say I am going to do”.  There ends the ballad of Rusty the roofer.

Like with Rusty, customers judge a vendor or service provider by the 10% of the time their expectations are not met. Here are three ways to turn prospects into clients, clients into fans, and avoid becoming a “Rusty the Roofer”.

1.    1.     DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE GOING TO DO.

Become known as a person of your word. This establishes trust.
Trust enables friendship.“People want to do business with their friends”  (Jeffrey Gitomer)

2.         2.  UNDERpromise and OVERdeliver.

           Too many times we are tempted to say anything to close the sale.
           When you close the 10% margin of error you become a resource
            who provides value. Value creates loyalty.

3.        3.   BE PROFESSIONAL.

           Professional standards of communication and dress have relaxed
           over the last decade. Become known for superseding the standard.

FANtastic Coffee

As a frequent traveler, I often find myself in airports searching for nuggets of inspiration hiding in between the runways. I was on a four-hour layover in the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International airport and had grown a little tired of the book I had been reading since I had left home three days prior, so I put it away and decided to cure my boredom with a cup of Starbuck's coffee. You may be thinking to yourself "why not grab a real drink"? Even in today's stressful travel environment, I have yet to lose my temper and I credit my perfect record to the fact that I don't have [real drinks] in airport lounges. I strolled over to the Starbucks next to gate A-16 where I stood in line. I was a little surprised at how many people they had working behind the counter. After a few "how many Starbucks employees does it take to screw in a light bulb" jokes had flashed through my head, I perused the menu. The employees behind the counter were having a great time. They were laughing, joking around, and seemed to be having a lot of fun as they took orders and made coffee. I heard a voice say "hi, how ya doin"? I turned to see a pleasant young lady behind the register talking to me. I was a little taken aback as many of us are when weare actually confronted with good customer service, so in my best Joey Tribiani voice (if you don't know who Joey Tribiani is then ask someone under 40) I said "how you doin?" I told her what I wanted and she asked my name. "my name is Patrick" "Hi Patrick.... hey everybody this is Patrick" more hellos and smiles from behind the counter. I answered a few questions about my trip and by the time I received my order, I felt as if I was saying goodbye to old friends. I got two more cups of coffee on my layover. Not because I particularly like the coffee, but because a few outstanding Starbucks employees chose to include me in their good time. The employees of the gate A-16 Starbucks understand that having fun at work is important but including the customer in the fun is profitable.

How are your customers being included? When you make a customer feel important you are creating an intimate connection
that will turn them into fans. One common trait of fans is loyalty. Loyal fans are not buying a product, they are buying YOU !!

HERE ARE THREE WAYS TO TURN CUSTOMERS INTO FANS:

1. BE PREPARED !! know as much about their business as you possibly can. In addition to reading strategic pages from their website, spend time on the websites of national trade associations that relate to their company. Read the white papers, best practices, and understand the issues and new legislation that could affect their business. If you have a firm understanding of the issues that impact their bottom line, you can more easily fill their needs.

2. FIND A COMMON INTEREST!! Do you both play the guitar? Do you both enjoy imported beer? Do you share a love of Saltwater fishing? Find a common link that intimately connects you to the prospect.

3. BECOME A RESOURCE!!  Continually send emails, articles, and "swag" with the sole purpose of building their business or positively supporting the common interest you both share. If the consistency of your correspondence is supported by a genuine desire to be helpful then you have turned a prospect into a client and a client into a fan.

Patrick Henry is a songwriter, author, and speaker, who shows clients how to create distinction in the market place and
 blow away the competition with the four keys to becoming a “ROCKSTAR IN A ROOM FULL OF KARAOKE SINGERS”. Patrick’s entertaining programs show audiences what happens when Keynotes, Comedy, and Concerts Collide. For more information go to www.PatrickHenrySpeaker.com

the house SPECIAL

When I entered the Nashville music scene in 1994, it wasn’t long before I was rubbing elbows with some of the biggest names in country music. Garth Brooks, Reba McEntire, Alan Jackson…I was rubbing elbows with all of them. Truth be told, it was usually when I was reaching to refill their water glass, but every now and then our elbows would touch.

I worked at a restaurant called the Green Hills Grille. It was a delightful little bistro nestled in the heart of the Green Hills area of Nashville and staffed mostly by aspiring songwriters, singers, and musicians. The joke was “if you wanted a job at a restaurant in Nashville, you had to submit a three song demo”.  The Green Hills Grille almost always had a line out the door with people eagerly awaiting the spinach and artichoke dip, chicken salad melt, or the famous white bean soup with corn cakes. I was always surprised that the restaurant did absolutely no advertising. The food at the restaurant was excellent but the secret to their success did not lie in the taste of the food, but rather with a little old woman named Mrs. Stevens.

Mrs. Stevens would come in everyday at four O’clock and would always sit at the same table, in the same chair and order the exact same thing; a hot fudge brownie, vanilla ice cream, and black coffee. We all got to know Mrs. Stevens and when we had a chance, we would stop by her table to say hello. One afternoon I had her table in my section, and when I saw her walk into the restaurant I put in her order and had a cup of coffee waiting when she sat down. As she was eating her brownie, I said, “Mrs. Stevens, that must be a pretty good brownie to keep you coming back day after day”.  She put down her fork and looked up at me and said, “Patrick, this is a great brownie, but I don’t come here for the food. I’m here because of you…and Gail, and Brigid and Jed and Doug and Steve”…. To my surprise, Mrs. Stevens began to name every single server in the restaurant and as she looked up at me, her eyes began to mist over and she said, “y’all make me feel so special”

I can remember my first day of work at the Green Hills Grille.  We were in a back room taking a menu test, and Brian, the general manager, walked in and spoke three words then left. He didn’t say don’t be late, or don’t drop dishes…. He said REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!  The secret to the Green Hills Grille’s success was not in the food. (Isn’t good food an expectation?), it was that we made the customers feel good being there.

Do your customers feel good about you? How are you exceeding your customer’s expectations? Great customer service is not a selling point, it is expected. Product reliability….expected!!!, competitive price point…expected !!!!!!

Here are three ways to exceed expectations and turn customers into fans:

1. REMEMBER THEIR NAME. It makes them feel special and makes you look competent. Remember details of conversations you have and recall them in follow up correspondence.

2  2. REMEMBER THEIR BIRTHDAY .  A famous Hollywood producer spent $60,000 a year on flowers. He said, “they don’t always remember who sent flowers, but they always remember who didn’t.”

3.    REMEMBER YOUR MANNERS.  I was conducting interviews of my best clients asking them why they continued to do business with me. One said, “My secretary loves you. You always call her maam”. She was an older southern lady who appreciated the “old school”.

Patrick Henry is a songwriter, author, speaker, who shows clients how to create distinction in the market place and blow away the competition with the four keys to becoming a “ROCKSTAR IN A ROOM FULL OF KARAOKE SINGERS”. Patrick’s entertaining programs show audiences what happens when Keynotes, Comedy, and Concerts Collide. For more information go to www.PatrickHenrySpeaker.com