TOFU WRAPPED BACON...BE THE BRAND

“Clean Comedian for corporate, government, or personal events. Contact me for rates and availability.” That’s what the post said on the professional speakers and entertainers group that I am a part of on Linkedin. I was intrigued, not because I am looking for a corporate comic, but because I wanted to see the face of the person who would break etiquette and blatantly advertise 

bacon wrapped tofu

on Linkedin. I googled the name and found a youtube clip of a comedy show that he did a couple of years ago. “Clean Comedian” is how this person branded himself and 28 seconds into his act, he dropped the F Bomb. THE F BOMB! Now don’t get me wrong, I am not easily offended by profanity as long as it’s not around my kids, but I AM offended by a misleading branding statement. If you say your book is a best seller, you'd better not mean within your mother’s bible study. If you say you are the toughest man in the world, there had better be a line of broken and battered bodies littering your wake, and if you say you are a clean comedian then you’d better not drop the F bomb. If I were to have a conversation with this gentleman and express my opinion he would probably tell me that he modifies his language based on the event, or he may just tell me to ‘F’ OFF. I would then tell him “you can’t call yourself a vegeterian and have your tofu wrapped in bacon”. Unlike in years past, we no longer have control over our brand. Major companies such as Nike, Apple, and McDonalds spend millions of dollars on creating a branding statement which is nothing more than four or five words that come to mind when you hear a product name. Nike=swoosh, sports, running, football. Apple= Mac, sleek, fast, elite. McDonalds = easy, tasty, kids, cheap. For years, corporations were able to control their brand with advertisments and commercials. This is no longer the case. Thanks to social media and youtube, the control of our brand has transferred to the consumer. If I receive bad customer service, I tell my online community. If I do it in a funny or interesting way then it will ripple into their communities. Videos of me speaking and performing are all over Youtube and Vimeo. Some were put up by me and some by others. Because the internet provides immediate access into our brand, there is a transparency between us and the customer that has never before existed.  The best way for us to promote and protect our brand is to simply…BE THE BRAND. 

CREATING PROFITABLE RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH...INCLUSION

The sense of belonging is one of the most basic human needs. If you took freshman psychology in college, you learned about behavioral psychologist Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs Pyramid. In Maslows 1943 paper, A theory of human motivation, he identified the five areas of human needs. The first area is made up of physiological needs such as breathing, food, water, and sex. (It’s a need. It’s science. Guys win.) These needs must be satisfied before you can progress to the next level which involves safety needs such as shelter, job security, not being eaten by a bear. Then comes love and belonging followed by self esteem needs and self actualization.  The need for belonging is a powerful influence for healthy and profitable relationships whether they are with the customer, coworkers or team.  

Not long after I moved to Nashville in the mid-nineties, I met a group of guys that I started hitting the town with. Back in those days I had a flat stomach, a tolerance for Jack Daniels, and a tendency to see dawn as he end of an evening. Now my six pack has turned into a one pack, the smell of Jack Daniels makes me queasy, and dawn is often the backdrop for my second cup of coffee. We were all aspiring artists, musicians, songwriters or studio engineers which meant we were broke. One guy in our group worked for RCA records…in the mail room. I used to wonder what an intelligent, college educated, ambitious guy like him was doing working for nine bucks an hour in the mailroom of a record label. I finally understood one night when we all went to a downtown Nashville night club. At RCA records, all of the employees received an RCA jacket. They looked like high school letterman jackets with the RCA logo on the back. When we walked into the club that night and people saw his jacket, you would have thought royalty had entered the room. Keep in mind that 80% of the people in the bar were trying to make it in the music business and as far as they were concerned, he could make their dreams come true. Beautiful women were brushing past me to brush against my friend. Guys were buying him drinks and bartenders were passing him their demos. I then understood why a college educated, intelligent, ambitious young guy would work in the RCA mail room for 9 bucks an hour. He wasn’t working for nine bucks an hour. He was working for the jacket. RCA had created a sense of belonging among their employees that encompassed everyone from the C-suite to the mail room. They were a part of something bigger than themselves and it created an atmosphere of inclusion that translated into job satisfaction that was not predicated by salary. People want to do business with people who enjoy their job. They are happier, friendlier, more helpful, and nicer.

It reminds me of the old story of a man walking with his young son past a construction

site. An old brick mason was mixing mortar and laying bricks along a bare foundation.

The young boy asked his father “what is that man doing?” The father replied “He is a brick mason.

 He is mixing mortar and laying bricks”. Overhearing the conversation, the old man walked over and said 

“I am not just laying bricks.” “What are you doing then?” asked the little boy. The old man proudly replied “I am building a beautiful cathedral”.  

It is so easy to define our job by the tasks we do, but when people are made to feel a part of something greater than themselves it creates a sense of belonging. When you create a culture of belonging then employees not only have more fun at work, they take ownership in the performance of the team.  Have you ever heard an orchestra warm up? It sounds horrible. That is because the focus of the musician is on the task of playing their instrument. It is only when the group focuses on their instruments with the outcome in mind is music created. 

What song is your team playing? What is your cathedral? Creating a sense belonging is about communicating outcome and including the team in the process.

SPEECH SERIES PART 3

HOW TO WRITE AND DELIVER A 

FREAKING AMAZING SPEECH 

IN 30 MINUTES OR LESS

CHAPTER 3.

The Opening Line

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”, “Call me Ishmael”, “It was a dark and stormy night”-these are all opening lines from great novels. The importance of the first line of a novel is paramount in setting the tone for the book. A great opening line will instantly engage and grip the imagination of the reader and the same is true for a great speech although most speakers screw it up and miss the opportunity.  There are a number of different ways to begin your speech, but first let’s discuss what NOT to do.  DON’T start with a famous quote. “As John F. Kennedy once said,  ask not what your country…or Webster’s dictionary defines love as….”  Every junior high school student who has to give a speech in class does this. Is it wrong? NO. Is it common? YES. Be original. DON’T tell the audience how happy you are to be there. Some will disagree with me on this, but I am right.  Who cares if you are happy to be there? It is a fluff line so don’t start that way. If you must tell them how honored you are, save it for the end. DON’T start off with a joke. Notice that I didn’t say don’t be funny. Funny is good, funny is smart, funny is actually expected in many cases. Many speakers will start off with a joke and destroy the opportunity of making a positive impact on the audience.  They will either tell a joke that they got off of the internet that has been heard before, they will tell a joke that is offensive to some or all of the audience, or they just stink at telling jokes. If you are naturally funny then tell me a funny story or experience especially if it is relevant to the event.  It is much safer and it is authentically you. DON’T tap the mic and ask if it is on. That is a nervous action that screams amateur. Of course the mic is on. If for some reason it’s not then you will find out soon enough. The best way, in my opinion, to begin your speech is to just start. I prefer to start as if I am in the middle of a conversation. “If you had been standing next to me on July the 26^th 2008, you would have been surrounded by five hundred triathletes preparing to compete in the mission man triathlon…”  Another cool way to start your speech is by asking a question. “Have you ever had a near death experience?” When you ask a question you instantly engage the listener by requiring them to process and answer even if they are answering in their mind. A striking statistic is also a great way to capture attention. “2 out of 5 American children go to bed hungry”. Now that’s a powerful statement.

TALKING TIP: IF YOU BEGIN WITH A QUESTION, GIVE THEM TIME TO ANSWER EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE NOT LOOKING FOR AN AUDIBLE RESPONSE. COUNT TO FIVE IN YOUR HEAD.

DO THIS:

·      WRITE DOWN THREE DIFFERENT OPENING LINES AND PRACTICE THEM UNTIL ONE JUMPS OUT AS THE RIGHT ONE.

No "P" in Customer Service

I used the “S” word in front of my children today.  Yes… the “S” word. The expletive of all expletives, and I said it in front of my babies.  I actually hadn’t even noticed that the word had passed my lips until my four year old admonished me in the car on the way home from the movie theatre. I admit it, I said it…. but that woman really was STUPID !!.

I had just taken my two boys to see The Tooth Fairy with Duane “The Rock” Johnson, and we stopped off at a Hallmark Store to buy a card for a friend who has just had a huge event happen in his life. I am typically not a card buyer, but this was a special occasion so I didn’t just want to pick one up from the grocery store, I wanted to go out of my way to buy from a specialist.

We walked into the Hallmark store and were directed to the Congratulations cards where I perused the various choices. My four year old began tugging on my coat and informed me that he had to use the bathroom…again. After being dragged out of the movie twice I was a little tired of his bathroom breaks so I told him to hold it. I chose a card and walked to the counter to pay. As I waited in line, I noticed that tears had formed in his eyes and realized that he really had to go so I asked the lady behind the counter where the restroom was.  She informed me that they didn’t have one.  You and I both know they have a restroom, so what she meant to say was they didn’t have one for customers. As my son began to cry, I looked at her with a “can you help me” look and she shrugged her shoulders with half hearted empathy and said, “It’s our policy”. I am not one to give customer service lessons at point of purchase, So I held my tongue (no small task) and left with my children.  It was on the way home that I was admonished for the “S” word.

We all have poor customer service stories that we enjoy telling when the conversation calls for it. The fact that I will never shop at the Hallmark Store in Alamance Crossings is no real “AHA” moment. As I contemplate my experience, I would have to say the lesson is this… Mess with me you lose my business. Mess with my kid you gain an enemy.  The sales woman at the Hallmark store in Alamance Crossing, Burlington, North Carolina :-) let policy override common sense and compassion. Had she chosen to ignore “policy” and helped my child and me she would have created a fan. Fans are loyal. Fans will go out of their way to spend money. Fans don’t shop alone.  She chose not to and as a result, not only destroyed a consumer relationship, she created an adversary who will take any and every opportunity to steer people away from her card store. He may even write an article about his experience that is distributed to hundreds of thousands of people.

Patrick Henry is a songwriter, author, and speaker, who shows clients how to create distinction in the market place and
 blow away the competition with the four keys to becoming a “ROCKSTAR IN A ROOM FULL OF KARAOKE SINGERS”. Patrick’s entertaining programs show audiences what happens when Keynotes, Comedy, and Concerts Collide. For more information go to www.patrickhenryspeaker.com