Dont Call Me a Comedian

What’s the difference between a comedian and a humorist? Most humorists, especially those who began their careers as comedians, would say that the difference is context…(and money). Comedians primarily perform in comedy clubs while humorists are often writers and speak and perform at conventions, association meetings, and corporate events.

A popular quip among my buddies in the National Speakers Association is “do you have to be funny to be a professional speaker?...only if you want to get paid”. My goal as a humorist is to, not only make people laugh, but to also deliver content, motivation, and expertise to my audiences in a funny way. For that reason, I was pleasantly surprised and a little taken off guard when SiriusXM Radio called and asked me to perform a one hour comedy show from the Blue Collar Theater in Nashville, Tennessee last month. In one phone call I became what I never aspired to be…a comedian. I don’t perform in comedy clubs so, in preparation for my show, I pored over my material and removed anything that resembled content. My wife and I, along with some friends from North Carolina, flew to Nashville for the recording. The Blue Collar Radio theater is tucked away in the Bridgestone Arena in downtown Nashville. The Southeastern Conference Championship basketball game was being held that weekend so we fought our way through Vanderbilt and University of Kentucky fans until a security guard saw us and escorted us inside. The studio audience, made up of invited guests and SiriusXM subscribers, was lined up waiting to go in. After a few brief hellos, I was escorted up the elevator to the “green room” in rock star fashion which is where I decided that I could get used to being a comedian. For about 20 minutes I chatted with the programmers for the SiriusXM comedy stations. One of them said “I love you Blue Collar Radio guys”. I asked why and he told me that he regularly visits comedy clubs across the country looking for talent to put on the radio for the uncensored comedy stations such as Raw Dog or the Foxxhole.  He said “ I will find someone who I think is great and ask them to send me their materials so I can put them on the radio…they rarely follow through.” He then went on to say “when I ask one of you Blue Collar guys to send me your materials, not only do I have a package the next day…there’s a box of cookies with it”.

As a professional speaker I have to sell myself on a regular basis to meeting planners. In order to do that, I must have video, a cd, marketing materials, and a website. When SiriusXM radio asked for my materials, I simply reached onto the shelf and put together a package (with cookies) and over-nighted it. Opportunities come to us every day. The people who take advantage of those opportunities are prepared to embrace them. Talent, skill, and a good product are prerequisites for success. The trigger that creates the emotional buy-in, however, is often in the packaging. Are you waiting to be discovered? or are you building a package that will enable you to embrace success?

Patrick Henry is a funny professional speaker, author and songwriter. He is the author of The Pancake Principle: Seventeen sticky ways to make your customers flip for you. Buy it at Amazon.com 

http://www.amazon.com/The-Pancake-Principle-Seventeen-Customers/dp/1457515792/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366036431&sr=8-1&keywords=the+pancake+principle

CREATING PROFITABLE RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH...INCLUSION

The sense of belonging is one of the most basic human needs. If you took freshman psychology in college, you learned about behavioral psychologist Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs Pyramid. In Maslows 1943 paper, A theory of human motivation, he identified the five areas of human needs. The first area is made up of physiological needs such as breathing, food, water, and sex. (It’s a need. It’s science. Guys win.) These needs must be satisfied before you can progress to the next level which involves safety needs such as shelter, job security, not being eaten by a bear. Then comes love and belonging followed by self esteem needs and self actualization.  The need for belonging is a powerful influence for healthy and profitable relationships whether they are with the customer, coworkers or team.  

Not long after I moved to Nashville in the mid-nineties, I met a group of guys that I started hitting the town with. Back in those days I had a flat stomach, a tolerance for Jack Daniels, and a tendency to see dawn as he end of an evening. Now my six pack has turned into a one pack, the smell of Jack Daniels makes me queasy, and dawn is often the backdrop for my second cup of coffee. We were all aspiring artists, musicians, songwriters or studio engineers which meant we were broke. One guy in our group worked for RCA records…in the mail room. I used to wonder what an intelligent, college educated, ambitious guy like him was doing working for nine bucks an hour in the mailroom of a record label. I finally understood one night when we all went to a downtown Nashville night club. At RCA records, all of the employees received an RCA jacket. They looked like high school letterman jackets with the RCA logo on the back. When we walked into the club that night and people saw his jacket, you would have thought royalty had entered the room. Keep in mind that 80% of the people in the bar were trying to make it in the music business and as far as they were concerned, he could make their dreams come true. Beautiful women were brushing past me to brush against my friend. Guys were buying him drinks and bartenders were passing him their demos. I then understood why a college educated, intelligent, ambitious young guy would work in the RCA mail room for 9 bucks an hour. He wasn’t working for nine bucks an hour. He was working for the jacket. RCA had created a sense of belonging among their employees that encompassed everyone from the C-suite to the mail room. They were a part of something bigger than themselves and it created an atmosphere of inclusion that translated into job satisfaction that was not predicated by salary. People want to do business with people who enjoy their job. They are happier, friendlier, more helpful, and nicer.

It reminds me of the old story of a man walking with his young son past a construction

site. An old brick mason was mixing mortar and laying bricks along a bare foundation.

The young boy asked his father “what is that man doing?” The father replied “He is a brick mason.

 He is mixing mortar and laying bricks”. Overhearing the conversation, the old man walked over and said 

“I am not just laying bricks.” “What are you doing then?” asked the little boy. The old man proudly replied “I am building a beautiful cathedral”.  

It is so easy to define our job by the tasks we do, but when people are made to feel a part of something greater than themselves it creates a sense of belonging. When you create a culture of belonging then employees not only have more fun at work, they take ownership in the performance of the team.  Have you ever heard an orchestra warm up? It sounds horrible. That is because the focus of the musician is on the task of playing their instrument. It is only when the group focuses on their instruments with the outcome in mind is music created. 

What song is your team playing? What is your cathedral? Creating a sense belonging is about communicating outcome and including the team in the process.

Social Media Is For The Dogs!

I finally get social media.  No, I didn’t just acquire 500 linkedin connections, or get my twitter account up and running. Like 3/4ths of the human population, I have been a user of social media for years. It is only now that I finally get it. Like most facebook users over thirty, I segment my friends into those I went to high school with, college buddies, professional acquaintances, local friends, and cyber hookers with 46 friends who slip through the cracks undetected. I usually post witty remarks, photos, or videos about my life, business, kids, accomplishments, or challenges. I send it out into the universe hoping that my thousands of friends find me as interesting as I do. I am all things to all people.

      Yesterday I had a pure social media experience that gave me my AHA! Moment. My three year old was standing at the door yelling goggy, goggy. I was working in my office placating her with “that’s right dear, doggy, good doggy”. She became more animated so I got up and walked to the glass door. She was nose to nose with a black, wolfish looking dog that had wandered onto our porch. It turned out that the dog was very friendly, very thirsty, and very lost. Its tag had fallen off, so after giving it water and explaining to my daughter why we don’t put our face next to strange dogs, I took a picture with my Iphone and posted on my facebook page. My post simply said “lost dog. If you live in Burlington and recognize this dog, get in touch…before my kids get too attached”.  Within ½ hour, the dog was back home safe and sound with its grateful owners thanks to one of my facebook peeps who live next door to them. I now realize that this is what social media is all about. It is certainly what the 25 year old twitter users with 150,000 followers have understood from the start. Social media is about more than connection, it is about connecting on common ground.  It is about having a conversation with like minded souls on a specific topic. Did my 1500 plus facebook friends who do not live in my town respond to my post? No! because I wasn’t talking to them and they knew it. Most of us are like the guy on the off ramp with the sign that says “will work for food…God bless”. His message is generic and displayed without purpose. Thousands pass him daily with little interest in his message. When we start joining conversations based on topic, geography, ideology, brand loyalty etc., we can then make connections with individuals on a personal level. They will buy our products, align with our beliefs, and drink our kool-aid. By the way, if you happen to pay someone to tweet, post, or manage your social media, you have missed the point. In order to effectively use social media, you must be authentic and be willing to participate in a conversation. If you are the only one who is doing the talking, you are talking to yourself.

HOW TO WRITE AND DELIVER A FREAKING AMAZING SPEECH IN 30 MINUTES SERIES

SECTION 2. DELIVERY

 THE OPENING

I mentioned in a previous post the importance of the opening line. How it is delivered is equally important. You make an impression on the audience from the moment you are introduced until your first words. You have thirty seconds to make it a good one. The most dreaded sound to amateur speakers is silence and many miss the opportunity to connect with the audience because they quickly fill it to the detriment of the speech.  Masterful speakers will use silence to create a connection with the audience. No other time in the speech is this connection more important than at the beginning. Nothing feels more awkward than standing before an audience saying nothing, but you are communicating with them none-the-less. You are saying “listen to me, I am in charge, what I have to say is important”. When you hit the stage, plant your feet, make eye contact, (smile) and PAUSE.  When you fill the room with silence, you are creating palatable anticipation of your first words which is why they have to kick butt!

TALKING TIP: PAUSE RIGHT UP UNTIL THE MOMENT IT FEELS UNCOMFORTABLE THEN BEGIN WITH A CLEARLY SPOKEN OPENING LINE.

SPEECH SERIES PART 5

HOW TO WRITE AND DELIVER A FREAKING AMAZING SPEECH IN 30 MINUTES OR LESS


CHAPTER 5.

To Script Or Not To Script

 I have had more than one person tell me that they don’t like to prepare a speech, they’d rather just wing it. When I hear that I immediately think that they are  over-confident , amateurish, and getting ready to crash and burn. More importantly, I believe that they are missing a huge opportunity to connect with their audience. You may get lucky in front of a group of friends from time to time by delivering off the cuff, but 9 times out of 10 you will suck! John Wooden’s line “ the failure to prepare is preparing to fail” is absolute gospel when creating and delivering a freaking amazing speech. I am a huge propent of scripting. This is where some people disagree with me so read what I have to say and decide for yourself. Scripting your comments will allow you to craft exactly what you want to say and how you want to say it. You may say “Patrick, I don’t want to come across as scripted”. Great point! Then don’t read your speech! There is nothing worse than someone who reads a speech from behind a lectern. I was having a conversation with a fellow professional speaker named Warren Greshes. Warren teaches selling skills and we were talking about how to engage clients on the phone. Warren said “Patrick, give me the first line of your phone pitch”. I told him that I didn’t have a first line. “Why not?” he asked. I told him that I didn’t want to sound scripted. He then asked me if I had ever been to a Broadway show in New York city. I told him that I had seen a couple of shows on a recent visit and He said “Patrick, did the actors do a good job?” “Of course Warren, they are the best”, “Did they sound scripted?” “Of course not”. “Patrick, do you think that Broadway actors wing it or do you think that they work from a script?”. I said that they work from a script. “Why don’t they sound scripted?...BECAUSE THEY PRACTICE !” Most amateur speakers script out their speech, but they go no further. When they get up in front of the room, it is obvious that they are reading a speech. When I deliver a speech, you will hear many of the same stories. I have practiced these stories so many times that even the inflections on certain words are the same from speech to speech. After you script your remarks…PRACTICE! The key here is not to just memorize words, but learn your speech. There is a difference. Once you learn your stories, then you will have the confidence that makes a good speaker a great one, and if you veer off script, you can find your way back. Former Auburn football coach Pat Dye used to say “practice doesn’t make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect”. I realize that this is a Vince Lombardi quote but my blood runs orange and blue so as far as I’m concerned it’s a Pat Dye quote. PRACTICE!!!

DO THIS:

·      SCRIPT FIRST

·      LEARN WORDS

·      PRACTICE DELIVERY

TALKING TIP: DON’T BRING UP A SCRIPT OF YOUR SPEECH TO THE STAGE. IF YOU NEED NOTES, USE BULLET POINTS AND KEYWORDS TO REMIND YOU OF WHAT COMES NEXT. BY THE WAY, 90% OF PEOPLE DON’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PODIUM AND A LECTERN. YOU STAND ON A PODIUM AND SPEAK FROM BEHIND A LECTERN.

SPEECH SERIES PART 4

HOW TO WRITE AND DELIVER A FREAKING 

AMAZING SPEECH IN 30 MINUTES OR LESS

CHAPTER 4.

The Call To Action

A call to action is a polite way to tell the audience to get off of their butt and DO SOMETHING! It is also a wonderful way to create relevance and a final connection with those in the room. In my speech, I tell the story about when my father died. It is a sad story with a lot of emotion. I tell the story of how my father told his children how much he loved them every day. People connect with that story because they see their relationship with their own parents in the imagery. At the end of the story, I tell them to not let another day pass without telling their kids how much they love them or avoid missing an opportunity to tell their friends, family and coworkers how much they are appreciated and valued. The whole point of the story is for the audience to take the lesson that I learned through a difficult experience and use it to create a positive experience in their lives. A call to action is important if you want your audience to do something. “Please vote for me next Tuesday”, “Take what I showed you today and write down a plan of action”, “put all of your money into the offering plate”.  Circumstances will dictate how focused your call to action is.

DO THIS:

·      DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT THIS SPEECH REQUIRES AN ACTIONABLE RESPONSE ON THE AUDIENCES PART.

·      WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU WANT THE AUDIENCE TO DO IMMEDIATELY AFTER YOUR SPEECH.

·      WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU WANT THE AUDIENCE TO DO TWO WEEKS AFTERWARDS.

CAN YOU EAT YOUR OWN CRAWFISH?... Leadership with a kick

As a student at the University of Southern Mississippi, I began a love affair that has endured throughout the better part of two decades. No, the affair of which I speak was not with one of the beautiful southern belles that make up 60 percent of the student body, but rather with a dirty, disgusting looking, beady eyed little creature called the crawfish. Until I ventured onto the USM campus in the early nineteen nineties, the only crawfish I had ever seen had been in the creek behind my parents house and the thought of actually putting it in my mouth never crossed my mind. Imagine my surprise and trepidation when I was invited to a fraternity party only to find rows of tables covered in newspaper with piles of red, steaming, crawfish waiting to be devoured. As the Zydeco band played in the background, one of of my buddies showed me how to pinch the head off of the little lobsterlike creature, peel back the first layer of shell on the tail and pull the meat out with my teeth. I was hooked. It was the most wonderful tasting food I had ever eaten. It even made the beer taste better. I later learned that for generations of louisianians and Southern Mississipians, crawfish is social fare in the same way that chili is for Texans, clams are for New Englanders, and fried catfish is for my native Alabamians. I also learned that they take pride in the spiciness of their crawfish. Cayenne pepper is the predominate seasoning for boiled crawfish, and for many daring souls, the hotter the better. When crawfish season was approaching, arguments would begin to float around the halls of the ATO house as my fraternity brothers would boast about who made the spiciest crawfish. When I later observed one of my drunken brethren writhing on the ground in pain, wiping his tongue after sampling a crawfish boiled in his personal blend of spice, I decided that it takes no great skill to dump heaps of cayenne pepper into a pot of boiling water. The real test is can you eat your own crawfish?

Not long ago I gave four speeches for a major utility company in Tennessee. After the event, I was chatting with the meeting planner who told me of a negative experience they had with a previous speaker. I was told that he was really good, highly energetic and well liked by the audience. He talked about not letting the little things get you down and negatively impact your attitude. She said it was well received until the second day when he arrived complaining about his hotel room, the noise next door, and the food, among other things. This is a speaker who talks about not letting the little things impact your attitude and all he was doing was complaining about the little things. My contact said that she and her staff were put off because this person obviously did not practice what he was paid to preach.  This guy didn’t eat his own crawfish.

Are you a good ambassador of your message? Do you preach customer service but don’t promptly return phone calls? do you promote positive attitude but curse out waiters? Do you talk about teamwork but reject input? Do you encourage donating but don’t give back in your community? The most successful leaders tend to be the ones whose behavior becomes the model for excellence.  Simply said…they eat their own crawfish.

THREE INGREDIENTS FOR KILLER CRAWFISH…THAT YOU CAN EAT:

1. A TABLESPOON OF TRUTH: If you can’t take the heat…don’t make it so hot. Too many times we will promise anything to close the sale or pacify the customer. If you can’t deliver on what you promise, then don’t promise so much. You will always be judged on the margin by which you fail to deliver…and rightly so.

2. A DASH OF OVERDELIVERY: Don’t just do what you say you are going to do…OVERDO. The cajuns have a word, LAGNIAPPE, which means “a little bit extra”. The difference between good and great is found in the lagniappe.

3. A HEAPING HELPING OF ATMOSPHERE.  "Laissez les bons temps rouler- let the good times roll” The best way to enjoy crawfish is in a group of people who are drinking beer, dancing, and having a great time. What kind of atmosphere are you creating? People want to buy from, learn from, work with, and do business with those whom they enjoy being around. If you are not reaching your goals, then look at the messenger. 



 Patrick Henry is a professional speaker who shows audiences how to create extraordinary customer, client, and coworker experiences. He is what happens when keynotes, comedy, and concerts...collide ! Please visit his website at www.PatrickHenrySpeaker.com

Lessons from the back of the pack

Had you been standing next to me the morning of July 26^th, 2008, you would have been standing on the shore of North Carolina’s Lake Cammack watching the sunrise. Had you been standing next to me on July 26^th, 2008, you would have found yourself surrounded by 500 people preparing to compete in the Mission Man Triathlon, and had you listened closely on that thick morning in July you may have heard me whisper and possibly whimper quietly to myself… “What in the heck have I gotten myself into?”

For almost ten years, I have been an avid practitioner of Mixed Martial Arts. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Muy Thai Kickboxing… I love it all, but now that I see 40 on the not too distant horizon, I have realized two things about the sport I love. 1. The guys are getting younger, stronger, and faster, and 2. I am too old to be getting hit and/or kicked in the face… I needed a new sport. One afternoon my brother and I were having a conversation when I told him that I was looking for a new challenge. I wanted a sport a little on the extreme side but with minimal chance of bodily harm. I wanted to reduce the risk of getting hit and/or kicked in the face. He said why not compete in a triathlon? At 6’4, 225 pounds, I have never considered myself the “triathlon type”, but he then uttered the words that sent me on my way to becoming a tried and true, full fledged triathlete….He said ”I dare you”. “you dare me?” “you daRE ME??!!?? ..don’t dare me Bubba, I’ll do it. When is it?” He said “there’s one in three weeks”……… “DONE” !!!!

For the next three weeks I trained like a mad man. I ran every day. I swam every day and I borrowed a bike that I rode everyday. When the morning of the triathlon arrived, I was up before the sun. I packed my gear and headed out to the race site. At the starting point, I stood in thigh deep water with my bright blue swim cap holding in my slightly graying hair. My spandex biker shorts and under-armour top were struggling against my slightly expanding mid-section. I looked like a super hero five years past his prime. When the horn sounded we took off like a school of grunion. I was paddling as fast and furious as my arms would allow. Fifty yards into the swim I began to tire. 60 yards into the swim, my freestyle turned into a breast-stroke, and by the time I reached the first buoy, was doggy paddling. When you doggy paddle your way through a triathlon you become the unwilling provider of piggyback rides for anyone who happens to have started behind you. Half way through the swim as I was being passed by the competitors wearing pink swim caps, (women over 40), I made eye contact with a grandmotherly woman who could not have been day under 65. In a cosmic moment of irony and humiliation, she overtook me, passed me by, and then KICKED me right in the face.

LESSON….. IT TAKES LONGER THAN THREE WEEKS TO TRAIN FOR A TRIATHLON !!

My friend and fellow speaker Bill Bachrach is a real triathlete. Bill is a Hawaiian Iron Man, which means he completed a 2.5 mile swim, 116 mile bike ride and a marathon. I asked Bill “what does it take to become an Iron Man?” I expected him to tell me of above average athleticism, superhuman strength and endurance, but instead, he told me that it all came down to commitment. Do you have the time, patience and discipline to focus your efforts on the process of training to become great? He said the roadmap to becoming an Iron man is finite, measurable and tested. All it takes from you is a commitment to work the process.

What is your commitment to the process of becoming an Iron Sales Man? Are you working a process or slinging it up against the wall hoping something sticks. Martial Arts legend Gene Lebel said “the harder you train the luckier you get”. The same is true for sales.

Here are three simple tips to incorporate into your sales workout:


  1.   WAKE UP EARLY.  By the time your competition’s feet hit the floor in the morning, you should be on step three of your daily to do list. “The early bird gets the worm”…I love worm..tastes like chicken. 

2. READ TWENTY MINUTES OF POSITIVE MATERIAL DAILY. Before you logon to Fox News, CNN, or enter the blogosphere and get the latest dose of negative headlines, start with twenty minutes of uplifting material. It is like waking up and chugging a glass of water. (ever done it ?…you’ll feel amazing

         3. PRACTICE . Having trouble on the phone? Practice with a mirror on your desk or the camera on your computer…smile and create friendly facial expressions and it will come through in your voice. Create scripts and practice them until you don’t sound rehearsed. Roll play with friends or co-workers until walking into a brand new office feels exciting.

Patrick Henry is a songwriter, author, and speaker, who shows clients how to create distinction in the market place and blow away the competition with the four keys to becoming a “ROCKSTAR IN A ROOM FULL OF KARAOKE SINGERS”. Patrick’s entertaining programs show audiences what happens when Keynotes, Comedy, and Concerts Collide. For more information go to www.patrickhenryspeaker.com